tonight i had dinner and drinks with a girlfriend and we were discussing sex and dating as per usual, she’s doing this “eight dates in eight weeks” thing and said i should try it too and the rule is you have to say yes to any guy who asks you out and i was like “no guys EVER ask me out” (except for like random dudes on twitter who don’t even know my real name and only want to hang out with me cos they saw my boobs in a magazine so that doesn’t count)
so then i started ranting about why dinner dates are stupid anyway because there’s so much stress like what if i spill food on myself or knock my drink over and look like an idiot. i’m really not the kind of girl that guys want to hang out with or take to dinners and talk to so unless i am absolutely 100% certain i want to have sex with a guy i won’t go out for dinner with him cos what if after dinner i don’t want to and he’s like “GREAT WELL THAT WAS A WASTE OF TIME” and then i’d feel like an asshole. there’s just soooo much stress and pressure and then when i get anxious i break out in this gross blotchy red rash all over my chest, neck and shoulders and people are like “omg what’s wrong with your skin” and i’m like “oh you know just having an internal meltdown over here and trying not to hyperventilate” and that’s not really sexy. and then what if i eat too much and he’s like “lol what a fat bitch” STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS PANIC etc. sooo fyi guys asking me out to dinner is a good way of getting me to attempt to avoid you from that point onwards, it will pretty much cause me to freak out completely and think WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME and i will probably even hate you a little bit.
so in conclusion, i am insane, fuck dating, and even though sometimes i do get bored of being alone all the time, it’s still less stressful and anxiety-causing than dinner. goddamnnnnn. i do not know how people do this stuff!!!